This is sort of embarrassing and weird but anyone that struggles with chronic health problems can relate to the things that I say in this letter to my body. This letter is what I would say to my body if it were separated from my Spirit/soul. I found it very therapeutic and helped me realize some things about myself. If you struggle with chronic health problems, give this letter writing a try. Obviously, it doesn't need to be posted to the world like I have. It doesn't need to have fancy wording or perfect grammar (mine sure doesn't). It's just nice to get those cooped up feelings out there and to help you understand what's going on with you and your body.
Here it goes, don't make fun...
Dear Body,
You and I have been painfully attached to one another for 28 years. There are so many miraculous and wonderful things that we have done and experienced together. There have been some really hard times and even times that I’ve wanted to be separated from you. There are times, even if marginal, where you have been cooperative and done the things that I needed you to do but mostly you have caused me much pain, exhaustion and grief. Lately your dysfunction has been weighing me down, so I have been blaming you for all my troubles but I know that I have part in it. I’m sorry for bad mindless decisions that I have made on behalf of you. I guess in a way I wanted you to suffer as I have suffered. I felt that you were already broken so what’s the worse that could happen. I was mad at you for doing this to me. I was mad at you for always being defective and for being so perplexing to doctors that they eventually dismiss me so I end up crying as I walk out of their offices. I was mad at you for putting me through IVF 4 times before getting pregnant with my girls. I was mad at you for taking me away from time with my loved ones. I mostly hated you (yes hated) for denying me the ability to care and play with my children the way I desire. But, I now understand that I was meant to travel this life with you and that you were built by the Creator exactly this way to test and try me. I understand you are the way you are so that I could experience pain, illness, suffering, and what it means to rely on something else beside you. Even though you were the cause of the bitter loneliness I experienced from your pain, you were still there and all I had that could truly understand what I was going through. You and I both needed the atonement to help us through and you were the vessel I needed in order to feel His spirit and love. I now understand that You and I were meant to be together so that we could learn patience and not only physical strength but spiritual strength as well. I am aware that I have asked you to do many things that you were not ready for. I know those things were harsh to you but you were able to eventually do it. Body, I feel like you have so many problems that are so overwhelming, so I bury my head in the sand. I understand that I’m wrong and I am neglecting you. You have been crying out to me and I have been trying to mask your problems. I’m not taking care of you, therefore, you will not take care of me. I know that you are who you are and that we need to find a way to take care of one another. I know I need to allow the process of pain to happen and try not to mask it. That way, you can heal. I know I need to fill you with foods that are healing and not damaging. I know I need to fill you…. period and not starve you of the things that are so simple to give you. I’m sorry for my stubbornness and for blaming you for things that have happened to me. I need to respect you and understand that you are a temporal/telestial product and that you need rest. I know we will eventually be separated for a time and I don’t want to regret the way life went for us. I need to listen to you better and seek ways to help you in a healthy way and not make decisions that are going to make things worse. There is no reason why we both must strive and suffer every single day. I know we can do this! Together we will create many more miraculous things but I now know that I need to do my part. You are a beautiful mess and I wouldn’t have it any other way. We are in this together and we can do hard but great things.
Love Your Guts Forever,
Your Spirit
Here it goes, don't make fun...
Dear Body,
You and I have been painfully attached to one another for 28 years. There are so many miraculous and wonderful things that we have done and experienced together. There have been some really hard times and even times that I’ve wanted to be separated from you. There are times, even if marginal, where you have been cooperative and done the things that I needed you to do but mostly you have caused me much pain, exhaustion and grief. Lately your dysfunction has been weighing me down, so I have been blaming you for all my troubles but I know that I have part in it. I’m sorry for bad mindless decisions that I have made on behalf of you. I guess in a way I wanted you to suffer as I have suffered. I felt that you were already broken so what’s the worse that could happen. I was mad at you for doing this to me. I was mad at you for always being defective and for being so perplexing to doctors that they eventually dismiss me so I end up crying as I walk out of their offices. I was mad at you for putting me through IVF 4 times before getting pregnant with my girls. I was mad at you for taking me away from time with my loved ones. I mostly hated you (yes hated) for denying me the ability to care and play with my children the way I desire. But, I now understand that I was meant to travel this life with you and that you were built by the Creator exactly this way to test and try me. I understand you are the way you are so that I could experience pain, illness, suffering, and what it means to rely on something else beside you. Even though you were the cause of the bitter loneliness I experienced from your pain, you were still there and all I had that could truly understand what I was going through. You and I both needed the atonement to help us through and you were the vessel I needed in order to feel His spirit and love. I now understand that You and I were meant to be together so that we could learn patience and not only physical strength but spiritual strength as well. I am aware that I have asked you to do many things that you were not ready for. I know those things were harsh to you but you were able to eventually do it. Body, I feel like you have so many problems that are so overwhelming, so I bury my head in the sand. I understand that I’m wrong and I am neglecting you. You have been crying out to me and I have been trying to mask your problems. I’m not taking care of you, therefore, you will not take care of me. I know that you are who you are and that we need to find a way to take care of one another. I know I need to allow the process of pain to happen and try not to mask it. That way, you can heal. I know I need to fill you with foods that are healing and not damaging. I know I need to fill you…. period and not starve you of the things that are so simple to give you. I’m sorry for my stubbornness and for blaming you for things that have happened to me. I need to respect you and understand that you are a temporal/telestial product and that you need rest. I know we will eventually be separated for a time and I don’t want to regret the way life went for us. I need to listen to you better and seek ways to help you in a healthy way and not make decisions that are going to make things worse. There is no reason why we both must strive and suffer every single day. I know we can do this! Together we will create many more miraculous things but I now know that I need to do my part. You are a beautiful mess and I wouldn’t have it any other way. We are in this together and we can do hard but great things.
Love Your Guts Forever,
Your Spirit